If we want to live longer, strengthen our immune system and reduce our risk of heart attack, stroke, depression and dementia, our number one health habit needs to be cultivating close, supportive relationships with family, friends and co-workers. Men and women who are in a good marriage also have a stronger handgrip than their unmarried counterparts!
Good relationships are critical to good health. A recent study led by researchers at Australia’s Monash University quantified the benefits of different forms of socialisation. The health of almost 10 000 community-dwelling 70+ year olds (5231 women and 4705 men) was tracked for more than six years. The results were unequivocal:
- Men who had three or more relatives they felt close to, and with whom they could discuss private matters, had a 30% reduced risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD).
- Men who engaged in competitive social activities like chess, card games, golf or tennis had an 18% reduction in CVD.
- Women who lived with family, friends or relatives had a 26% reduced risk of CVD.
- Women who had three or more friends with whom they could discuss private matters had a 29% reduction in CVD.
There are no heart medications as powerful as positive relationships.
Similarly, an 80-year US study of over 700 men (which is ongoing and now also includes women) found that having warm close relationships was the strongest predictor of a sharp brain, healthy body and long, happy life. Good relationships even lowered the risk of arthritis. Nurturing relationships were found to be even more important than a good diet, regular exercise, meditation, not smoking and not drinking alcohol. Conversely, loneliness is as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Loneliness is a feeling of discomfort akin to hunger and thirst. Hunger is a signal to seek out food. Loneliness is a signal to seek out other people. Food and friends are both essential to our survival. Unfortunately, for all the advantages of working from home, the reduction in social contact post-Covid-19 has contributed to a growing pandemic of loneliness. Surveys done by Uniting Communities in South Australia revealed that we are more lonely now than before Covid. In December 2023, 66% of South Australians reported feeling lonely often or sometimes. In 25 to 29-year olds the number skyrocketed to 97%, and in 18 to 24-year olds it was 91%.
Workplaces — be they offices, businesses, schools or hospitals — are like villages that provide a sense of community and belonging. We are more productive when we feel valued, have team members we trust, and feel we’re making a positive difference to a cause that’s greater than ourselves. This requires spending face-to-face time with others. Research suggests it can take 200 hours to turn a stranger into a trusted colleague. Many people report that work is where they form enduring adult friendships. How can you create opportunities for supportive relationships to develop at work?
In the meantime, do you have someone you could call at 3am if you were in a crisis?
Do you have someone with whom you can share your joys and fears?
Do you have someone who will simply let you be you?
If not, find that someone and offer them the same.
There are no medications as mighty as our mates. Or, as I’ve written before, people are more powerful than pills.
If you’d like to take a deeper dive into this research, here are the two studies I mentioned:
- Teshale AB, Htun HL, Owen AJ, et al. ‘Gender-specific aspects of socialisation and risk of cardiovascular disease among community-dwelling older adults: a prospective cohort study using machine learning algorithms and a conventional method.’ Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, June 2024.
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development — https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/
Please share this Health-e-Byte with all your family, friends and colleagues.
Photo: During my recent trip to Los Angeles, I caught up with my beautiful friend and confidante, Diana, at the the Arboretum and Botanical Gardens in Arcadia.
