Ageism is an unrecognised form of discrimination that will affect all of us at some time — if we’re fortunate to live long enough. It’s also a form of discrimination that we perpetrate against ourselves. Every time we think or say ‘I’m having a senior moment’ or ‘I’m too old for that’, we reinforce the belief that ageing equates to decline. This contradicts volumes of research that show ageing can be a time of freedom and flourishing, rather than frailty and forgetfulness. If you come across a grumpy old person, they were probably also a grumpy young person!
This is what I spoke about at the American Society on Ageing Conference in Orlando, Florida, in April this year. Here is an excerpt from the start of my presentation.
85-year-old Steve went to his family physician and said, ‘Doc, my right knee is giving me some trouble. It hurts when I do squats or lunges — for instance when I kick a soccer ball or play tennis. Can you take a look and tell me what the problem might be?’
And Dr Jones replied, ‘Steve, what do you expect? Your knee is 85 years old. Of course you’re going to have aches and pains.’
To which Steve responded, ‘But Doc, my left knee is also 85 years old, and it’s good as gold!’
When doctors are given identical case studies of patients with the same symptoms and same likelihood of recovery, the doctors tend to be much less likely to recommend treatments for older patients compared to younger patients. So it’s lack of treatment, not the patient’s age, that hinders recovery. Challenge any doctor who diagnoses your symptoms as ‘just getting old’. There is always something other than age at play. Not everyone gets increasing health problems as they get older, so why should you?
Studies have also shown that a person’s recovery from illness or injury is driven by their own attitude to ageing — in other words, whether they see it as a time of weakness or wisdom. About 600 participants aged 70 or older were asked to write down the first five words that came to mind when they thought about an older person. The responses ranged from ‘illness’ and ‘irrelevance’ to ‘savvy’ and ‘spirited’. Thereafter, researchers checked in with the participants every month for the next 10 years to find out if they’d experienced any new illness or injury. Ruling out the effects of race, sex, education and depressive symptoms, people holding positive beliefs about ageing were 44% more likely to fully recover from severe disability than those who subscribed to negative ageist stereotypes.
When Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman was seriously injured in a car accident at the age of 71 — with multiple broken bones and at risk of being paralysed — he not only completely recovered but has since starred in over 37 TV shows and movies. Now at age 87, Mr Freeman can happily afford to retire but he chooses to work — in his words ‘just for fun’, and he associates old age with freedom, vitality and curiosity. Healing and recovery are not precluded by age.
When you think of an older person — whatever that means to you — what are the first five words that spring to mind?
When you think of yourself getting older, what are the first words that come to mind?
Are the words the same or different? Does it matter?
The words that come to mind when thinking about other people getting older can influence us subconsciously and insidiously. What we believe in relation to ourselves getting older influence us more powerfully and immediately. Because we tell ourselves how to grow old — whether we’re aware of it or not.
How we age — whether we become feeble or fruitful, cranky or curious, tired or tenacious — is a direct result of our cultural stereotypes and self talk. The more we open our eyes to what we gain, rather than lose, with each passing year, the happier and healthier we become.
At your next Birthday, I invite you to play a game I call the Birthday Bonus: write down all the things you feel grateful for, about the age you are now. However old you are, that’s how many things you need to list. If you’re 60 years old, what are 60 things you feel grateful for about being 60? This simple game will make a profoundly positive difference to your physical and mental health.
Please share this Health-e-Byte with anyone who is not looking forward to their next Birthday.
Photo credit: I took this photo of a wall mural in Little Havana, Miami, Florida, after speaking at the American Society on Aging conference in Orlando in April 2025. Little Havana is a place where people of all ages are welcomed to enjoy the vibrant colours, music, food and festivities. Cuban cigars are optional!
